
Perhaps one of the toughest things in my life at the moment is learning a lesson that I suppose we all have to learn at some point: letting go. Letting go of people, unleashing emotions, relieving bonds that no longer can be kept (or even if you can keep them, bear in mind that it is against your nature.)
You can’t keep forcing something if it wasn’t meant for you in the first place. And most of the times, you feel it. It’s that gut feeling that is constantly reminding you of the awful situation you’re finding yourself in; and no matter how much, or hard you try, it’ll stay there, until you decide to make use of your intuition and simply cut the cords that are toxic to you.
“But what if it haunts me? What if this person, this emotion, this bond seems to be continously chasing me? Waiting to eat up my whole, entire being? How do I get out? Where THE HELL is the exit?”
I’m in that point now, myself. I’m stuck here. And I see no way out, because I can’t think clearly. My mind feels blurred by the idea that, as I try to unlock an exit door, it slams shut in my face, harder than the previous time. I just feel trapped. In my own mind, in my own body, even in my own soul. I don’t know what I am anymore, except for misunderstood, broken, questioning everything and really knowing nothing.